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Threesome Hookup: 10 Problems You Can Run Into When Considering to Engage in It

Threesome Hookup

Threesomes are an excellent way to make your sex life more dynamic. In fact, many people are hooking up this way, and threeways are slowly stepping out of the taboo section. 

Of course, there is a flip side, as always. There are many pitfalls one can face when engaging in a threesome hookup. Lacking knowledge on the topic is usually the main reason. This article will introduce you to some of the biggest problems and provide you with enough information to decide whether you’re ready for threesome sex and how to go about it. 

1. Too Many Expectations

It’s natural for humankind to make-up the expectations considering their past experiences. Assuming that you have no previous direct experiences with threeway hookups, you probably built your expectations according to the things you saw or heard. 

The first thing you have to know is that threesomes in real life are nothing like in porn. First of all, that hot-looking show is written beforehand, leaving no place for an unexpected outburst. Besides that, they are edited to appear much more alluring than they’d typically be.

Editing adult movies include cutting the raw material into fine-looking frames leaving out all the funny noises and position fails. 

Stories that your friends tell about their past experiences are often irrelevant. People are, in general, fond of bragging about their sexual life, one way or another. Besides that, a threesome is a fun activity, and it’s normal to forget some awkward moments. 

Anyway, threesomes aren’t that great in the beginning, yet as you’re getting used to them, the joy is increasing. It’s always worth a try, and don’t be stubborn about it after your first experience – it takes time to master that kind of relationship. 

2. Finding the Right Partners

This depends a lot on your position in a threeway hookup, whether you’re a couple looking for a guest, single looking for a couple to join in, or three singles wanting to experiment a little with your sex life. 

As a couple, you’re facing a lot of problems. Most of the people are anxious about even asking their partner to consider engagement in a threesome hookup. Because many people will think they aren’t good enough. 

When you overcome that obstacle, you’re running into the real question, how do we find our guest? It’s quite easy actually, yet here are some rules for it:

  • Never involve a close friend in it. These kinds of sexual games can bring in a lot of insecurities into your relationship, so making out together with someone that means something to you or your partner can end in disturbing one of those relationships.
  • Never do it with an ex of yours. Many people felt like their partner and their ex paired off during the threesome, even if it wasn’t the case. It’s just a normal insecurity that you can face when watching your partner making out with their ex. 
  • Talk about them afterward. Have a good talk about your relationships with the guest afterward. Is it okay to see them once in a while, or to have sleepovers at their place? Also, maybe it seems okay a short time afterward, yet it may seem weird in the morning. 

If you want to be a guest in a relationship, find out what you want from them in the first place. Do you want it to be just a one-time thing, or you want to hook up with them every once in a while? Seeing them more or less often can drag you in some unnecessary nuisance. We will get to that later. 

Engaging in threesome hookup with the other two people without obligations to anyone is the easiest way. Most certainly, there won’t be any dramas, yet it can be awkward if you aren’t compatible with each other. That’s why you need to choose your threeway partners carefully. 

3. Getting Attached

Threesome hookups are, by nature, casual. According to that, people involved are usually separating their sexual relations from emotional ones – so getting attached tends to be a one-sided affair. 

To avoid unnecessary complications, insist on strictly sexual relations without emotions involved. Talk with them beforehand about every step of your relationship after the hookup. It’s probably the best to remain as a one-night thing. 

On the other hand, if you continue to see them every once in a while as threeway partners, try distancing as much as possible. Go directly home afterward, decline every offer to hang out, have a drink, or watch a movie. 

You may think it’s just a surface fun, yet being in such a sensitive relationship for too long will always leave a trace. Unless you’re willing to step into some more serious relationship, it’s imperative to leave on time.

4. Jealousy

Couples involving a guest in their sexual life are making a very risky move. On the one hand, such an act can increase their intimacy. Letting a stranger enter your most intimate act can provoke some feelings that were unknown to you before, or suppress the habit of early negative judgment.  

While on the other hand, it can ruin your relationship. It mostly depends on your relationship with the guest afterward. Remaining in contact with them can make your partner doubt that you unjust want to be “friends” with the guest. 

To make it all go smooth and without consequences, talk a lot with your partner about it. 

If you’re joining a couple as a unicorn, or just having sex with another two singles – you should think about jealousy. It happens when you get attached to the one person in the group. Many people ignore their feelings, but secretly hope that the other person will be into them. 

That’s the worst thing you could do. These kinds of sexual relationships tend to end soon, so it’s natural to leave when things get even a little unstable. If you didn’t already find the reason to leave, getting attached to one person from your threesome hookup is good enough.

Also, getting attached to one person from the couple hosting you is really messy. Casually flinging with them every once in a while to maintain contact with the person you’re into is auto-destructive. On top of that, breaking up a couple is quite immoral, so it’s best to keep away from such a scenario.

5. Pairing Off

Pairing Off While Having a Threesome

The worst feeling one could experience during a threesome is to be excluded. It’s a common issue with those new to threesomes. Two of the participants pair off, while the other is a side watching them get it on. 

Of course, there are kinks such as cuckolds – men who like to watch their partners having sex with another man in front of them. However, that’s different, and should be mentioned beforehand if everyone is ok with it. 

Threeways are about each one of you, so you should act according to that. Always have contact with the other two. Even the slightest eye contact can be enough to prevent someone from feeling excluded. 

6. Getting Involved In Unnecessary Arguments 

This point usually pertains to guests, yet it often happens in a casual threeway hookup group. Having a threesome with a couple even once can put you in an awkward situation if you maintain contact with them. 

There are often misunderstandings and jealousy between couples when it comes to a threesome with a guest. It’s normal to assume those aren’t any of your concern, yet some couples might think it is. They can end up dragging you into their problems because of their unstable relationship.

Unfortunately, many couples see a threesome as a way to make their relationship work again. The logic behind this lies in the intense intimacy provided by the threeway we mentioned above, although it doesn’t work like that all the time. 

Anyway, if you’re considering engaging in threesome hookup with a couple, try to get to know them a little bit first. None of it is a severe threat, yet even those slightest nuisance will ruin your impression about the threesome.  

7. Being Unprepared

Being unprepared for the threesome is a broad term, so we divided them into three groups from three different aspects of it – your personal preparation in mental and physical ways and your interpersonal relationships. Those will help you get the most out of your threeway hookup. 

Lack of information

Lacking pieces of information about a threeway leads to miss-communication between the participants and unpleasant experience. Probably the best way to learn about a threesome is to google anonymous experiences. Those are often honest and usually relevant. 

Bad Communication

In threesomes, if you’re a newbie to this kind of sex, everything must be discussed beforehand. Talk with potential partners about your view on threesome and what you want to receive from it. Discuss the time and place. Are you going to drink before, or are you willing to do it sober? 

Talk about the fetishes you would experiment with, are you going to use toys, what kind of music they like to listen during sex, and basically everything else that crosses your mind. Just make it all clear what you are going to do from start to finish.

Inappropriate Hygiene

Sometimes taking a bath isn’t enough. Different actions demand specific needs. It actually depends a lot on your discussed plans. If you’re going for anal sex, you need to prepare for that by getting enough lube and the right toys. 

8. Bad Timing

When planning your threeway adventure, make sure that all of your partners have enough time. It’s best not to hurry things up. Making it a Friday night sleepover is probably best, if no one is busy Saturday morning, of course. 

Adjust the atmosphere just right, drink some booze, and make something of a hot but friendly atmosphere. Be careful with friendly cheer. The common pitfall people encounter in their first threesome is the lack of courage to make the first move. 

Of course, if you’re not ready at the moment, even if you think you will be – don’t hesitate to quit. Everybody can understand that you’re feeling anxious or something, so you have nothing to worry about. Just relax and take all the time you need. Make up a safe word in case it happens later in the act.

9. First Move

As we stated not long ago, the common problem people encounter just before the threesome is the lack of initiative. It happens when people are insecure about it, usually because they’re new to it, so they end up talking to postpone it as long as they can. 

The best way is to make the first move yourself by turning a casual conversation into some hot talk about your sexual desires will most certainly do it. Unfortunately, it doesn’t always go according to the plan. If you’re not sure how to start it yourself, subtly talk someone else into breaking the ice. 

When you feel like the temperature has risen, leave the room for a minute or two, and when you hear them start to make out, join them. 

10. Make the Rules

Every successful threeway hookup has its own rules, and yours shouldn’t differ from them. Discussing the terms of a threesome with your partners beforehand is imperative for a pleasant experience. Talk about your fears, if you have any – you need to set some boundaries and come up with a safe word.

Stick to the rules out of respect to your hookup partners and because pre-discussed terms will help you gather the most out of your threeway. 

In Conclusion

Threeway hookups are an exciting way to breathe new life into your intimate one. Through threesomes, you’ll discover just how magical sexual experiences can be – and you’re almost guaranteed to discover something new about yourself.

So make sure to prepare a solution for any potential problem, and most importantly, make sure to enjoy yourself (and your partners) as much as possible!

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